My gut feeling has been deceiving me as of a week or so ago. Staying away was probably the smartest move I've made til recently; Hermit up my life to stay somewhat sane. Go out when I've had enough of my living quarters. Chill with one, maybe two close friends, and call it a "search for _______'s birthday present" or the "search for much needed necessities". (That reminds me :: takes note :: "Welch's Grape Juice") Have a couple hour long conversation about pickles, cow bells, and things that make you go "wuh-WUH?", then call it a night. Home safe.

I can barely breathe. My stomach is starving, but my mind is telling me I'm full. I haven't felt so empty in a long time. It's as if there's this large, black, empty hole in my chest. That even though my heart is there, beating away to keep me running, it feels as if it's stopped or just isn't there. My face is turning a bit pale. (Tears have that effect on me, apparently) My entire body feels like it's in the middle of crumbling into tiny bits. It's like that janga game; someone keeps taking pieces away from me, making me feel as if I'll fall apart any minute.

sleep. in much need of sleep.
fuck them all for their deception.
respect can only take you so far.
please a lil, and you're a sweetheart.
please a lil more, and you're a kiss ass waiting for seconds.

I want to scream "help", but I don't think anyone will come to my aid.